Friday, October 30, 2015


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Man, I hated it

well, it's good the teachers taught me reading and arithmetic

but the other stuff, and the bullshit

glorified baby sitting,

hating the mornings, hating the forced interactions

the recess, lunch, gym and Algebra class?

fucking dull,  I remember the option to not participate in gym
class, and most of the time I took that option

should  have dropped out a long time ago, yet i hung in there

and got that bullshit degree

I wrote a story, about prison once, and hadn't been

but i know it's like some institution: a school, a military base, or some workplace

all hierarchies and bullshit rules and people

Like some school

Wednesday, October 28, 2015


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May never come, yet people wait for it

they live their lives as if the next day is guaranteed

but every once in while you'll here someone say, "tomorrow isn't promised,"

but most us seem to forget this:

like get up, shower, eat breakfast go to work, go home, fix dinner, wash dishes, etc, and go to bed:  And repeat.

How dull!!

but people go days and years like this

waiting for a weekend, some holiday, a vacation

it's a scary notion,  I have a hard time making long term plans.

like making a doctor's appointment in three months

How about next week?

and people talk about next year

how can you?

I guess modern life seems easier and more stable, no tigers or bears to fight off
so tomorrow seems guaranteed

well, you don't have this safe notion with in you, there is ANXIETY, of course

and i suffer from that as well,

So try to live the day as my last,

failing mostly of course

but, that is just the way it is

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Working Man's Pain

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It's the dull manual labor that kills

you slowly

the boredom, the boredom, the boredom

the minutes, the hours, and days stockpiled

until nothingness,

lifting a heavy box, or cement rock

waiting for the UPS, The Fedex dude, the Post Office

working a dock, or receiving

dying a slow death

when you are young, you can do the shit no problem

but when you get older, in your thirties it wears you out

By the time you are 50, you are done man, just holding on

your body is DONE DONE
there are people in this world that have it worse, bad

I think of the some kid in the third world drinking from dirty water

there are people in this world that it have really bad bad

and there are those you just go on day after day after day

with a slow death, a misery

that buries you in your sixties or seventies,

maybe even earlier

that's the Pain

Thursday, October 22, 2015

A Cup of Coffee

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I usually hate coffee,

but sometimes you gotta get stuff done right?

and I'll usually head to Starbucks, in a good neighborhood

There are no Starbucks in bad neighborhoods,

I usually need to get away from everything and everyone

and read and write,

and spent so much time at Starbucks,  

when i was younger, it was the one on Delmar

so many interesting and different people coming in

so of the hipsters, I know hated the Starbucks,

and went to local hipster joint, to be hip

but it was such a put on,  really hipness

it not aware that it is being hip,

I just drank and read, and listened to the Mainstream

as they came and went,

and tried to figure them out

but, never did.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I Live In My Own World

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As you live in your own world

people say this all the time, when you are an 


and I am introvert

but, to me

there is not much that separates an introvert from and extrovert

slight brain chemistry, here and there

I try to be more extroverted, but it don't come off too well

Extroverts live in their own world too.

I find my own thoughts, waaay more interesting than most

I'll try to reach out to other's with words,

yet make no real connection

like you're at a party or club, or bar and you just hear the chattering of voices.

opinions going indifferent directions, and usually prejudiced and silly

Yet you are still alone with yourself

the extroverted introvert

who tries to make this genuine connection to another human being

but it doesn't quite

well, some of us live our heads more than others

and i would be one of these.

Monday, October 19, 2015


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It's like you have all this cool shit to do, man

and there's like hardly any time for it: so many cool TV shows you see,  YouTube videos to watch, ebooks to read.

And you search all your social media pages.  And everything moves so fast, of course with a full time job

and really the only time I have for real is the weekends for me.

and the go by fast man, for me,

seems like only a mere, couple of hours, instead of two days


there is this feeling of missing out constantly


and your head is filled with clutter and ideas, and ambitions, desire.  And it swirls in you.

all that shit

And I have a hard time relating to people who get bored.

there's like all this cool shit to do, and you're bored?

"I sit with my mom and tells me how boring Sundays are?"  Then she asks me, "Am I bored."

I'm like, "really?"

I'm away from the job, and feel very good

and trying to focus on an ebook from Amazon and  YouTube, and put together Slide share presentation

And I'm like really she's bored?

I guess some people need the Monday mornings and some one telling them what to do and how to do it,

along with the entertainment of television

But not me, jeez!!!

Friday, October 16, 2015

My Poetry Collection Available At Amazon

Buy an excellent collection of poems and lyrics.  You will long remember the words of this collection:

The Drink

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It's not for everyone man,

the drink, the liquor,

some people don't need it,

most people don't need it, the drink

they are sociable beings anyway

but not me, I am not a sociable being,

far from it

the drink helps with that

then the crowds and their words become 
more bearable 

some folks become loud when they drink,  they were usually already LOUD.  The alcohol just enhanced this trait in them, usually to a vulgar degree

it's like my grandma said, "the true person comes out when they drink." And for most, it's not pretty

Freud would call it the ID

and she's right, the true person does come out

and it's usually someone or something that can not handle liquor at all,

or stumbling out the bar, or getting knocked out at the bar

not able to handle the drink, the precious drink,
The wrong brain chemistry, I guess

that makes a hard dull world more bearable,

maybe weed would work better for them, but not me

the beer i stick to, usually work quite well for me

just stay away from me with the silly drinking games.


Thursday, October 15, 2015

The Phony Smile

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Sometimes you just have to do it

it's a part of living in the Tribe,

I'm guilty of it 

I've read How to Win Friends And Influence People

but I hate it most of time.  The phony smile

pretending like you are having a good time, when you're not

I don't hate people

most of the time I just wanna be a lone though

and I'm the same with everybody, it don't make any difference: family, friends, coworkers, strangers, etc

I have a hard time feigning happiness, I'm mostly on edge thinking to myself a lot

and the only time I usually feel like socializing is when I drink

which keeps me from thinking so much

without it, I'm so shy

and people hate this,

of course.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Lion In a Cage

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It's like you're this lion in cage

you are naturally wild, but they try to stop this

you are a lion in a cage thrashing about

you don't like the captivity

you live for the crazy wild

but no no no

they wont let it you be

they are stronger than you are, lion

the universe is stronger than you are, lion

you strike at it,

and it hits you back even stronger

the lion in the cage won't be domesticated though:

pet it, feed it, show love all you want

but it won't be tamed by mere human hands

this dangerous lion in a cage, won't be tamed

at all

Sunday, October 11, 2015

In This Ring

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You are by yourself

People are arriving and departing

This thing rolls on

People say they are your friends

People say they are lovers

But it's all bullshit

People pretend to know things

Yet they do not

It doesn't matter if you do

Or if you Don't

People take this life thing too serious

In this ring, your friends watch while you get your head knocked off

You are fighting for yourself against the liars, manipulators and schemers and hustlers.

All of them cowards

Death before dishonor

They don't believe in
that shit

In this ring

Friday, October 9, 2015

The People Are Anxious

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It's like that thing in your chest can stop

anytime, and some of us think about it constantly

IT can come fast and swift,

and you are conscious of it's beating:  miss a beat, you feel it

race too fast you feel it,

that anxiety that you won't see tomorrow:

all the plans you made could be forgotten in cockroach like


You think about that, and it's just no good, of course

and we take that strangely for granted

I've taken it for granted,  many times

the truly brave or truly disturbed don't care if they die of course

But for a lot of folks, of course there is:


Thursday, October 8, 2015

This Is Depressing!!

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Oh boy, you're crazy if you keep reading this,

you have been warned!

I like crazy though,

but this is depressing! 

"people don't like depressing stuff," like my mom says.

I don't think she has ever read any of my writing, she just knows me as a person.

"negative vibes surround me," she says and "people can sense that!"


I guess she is right though, most people can't handle depressing shit

But I don't write for those folks. They can continue to watch their Hangover movies, or Fast and Furious or whatever the fuck they watch.

but I'm a bluesy person and feel the pain of LIFE, like a Charles Bukowski or a Johnny Cash.

it is what is, you hurt of course

and their are those out there who don't want to deal with pain or forget it.  Be happy or say a joke please!

I surely understand.

while I sit in a dark bar a lone nursing a drink watching the others, feeling my specific pain, while never understanding the Masses.

I'm a weirdo, I don't go out to have fun, whatever that is

Most won't understand this crazy, depressing, weird, serious shit I write.

a few will though,  and I write for them.

Not the mainstream folk.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

A Good Dude

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Died and it hurt me bad

a good dude died, and it hurt more

than when my blood father passed away, who was not so good a lot of times

a good dude died man, I thought he

would live forever

homie was always in a good mood,

my step dad friend.

never heard him say a bad thing or do a bad thing to anyone

a good dude died and I wept,

i hear about people dying some times, people I know,


it has little effect on me usually, some of them were not very good

But damn, I will always see him doing yard work, to buy money for

weed, until I expire i guess, he smoked that shit a lot

a good dude died and it hurt me in worse way, didn't think it would

a good dude died and i could see the sadness in his friends eyes at the funeral

a good dude died and will be missed

and that's saying a lot.

Normal People

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Normal people adapt

they learn to love the prison they are born into,
likes slaves on a plantation

normal people learn to love their school, neighborhood, family, job and hometown

normal people eventually learn to love all authority figures,

the jails and the correctional officers,

normal people learn to adapt and eventually love the environment they are born into

no matter how fucked up in maybe,

I always fight against it 

normal people love the garbage movies Hollywood puts out

normal people learn to love the bullshit that is on the radio stations


normal people buy into the advertising industry

normal people learn to like their jobs, or school no matter how dull they maybe

people can get used to anything man, people can get used to any fucking thing

I'm not normal, I can't stand the bright sunny day,

my darkness stands out and sucks you in like a cave,

I like an admire, the freaks, the weirdos, perverts and geniuses all of them fucking outsiders

on the margins of society

those people who hate the rush hours, and the holidays

I relate to their madness 

and unnormalness

Saturday, October 3, 2015

The Blues

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I was sitting at the bar
Feeling the blues after work
Everything hurting
Drinking my 64 0z pitcher
Of beer
And this kid begins to talk to me
About how drinking is killing my
Brain cells
And of course i have heard this
Shit all before
Yet i act dumb all the same
Like really?
I did not know that!!
I try not to think about
This, of course when I'm drinking
Wrong place wrong time
Well he's right!!
But he drinks a hell of alot
More than me
He takes shot after shot
Beer after beer
And blacks out
Almost every night
Yet I'm the fucked up one?
Crazy when you think about it
Yet the world tried to kill my
Body, which is I'm drinking in the first place
Well the world kills my body
And i kill my brain
We are
both even

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Rat Race

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Competition is overwhelming,

it's too much,  all these people thriving

it's rush hour

it seems like rush hour all the time, man

you're in competition with them,

always, take your energy pills, get enough sleep

this world is a crazy and competitive place.

that's why all the athletes take the dope

the students cheat on the exams


all these crazy ambitious people around me

it wears you out,

I love seeing people in the slow lane of life,

Instead, I see

fighting for the parking space closest to the door of the local Walmart

ain't that crazy?

and they all want kids

to carry out some dumb tradition

to get an EDGE

taking steroids and lifting weights

always comparing themselves to some one's else success

it gets tiring tiring tiring tiring

the car, the job, the house, the clothes

keeping up with the Joneses, keeping up with Kardashians

it all gets very stale.

they keep their cliques, and systems and organizations locked into place

it's all very conservative:

which means for their children and grandchildren and friends

This is the sport that the Human Tribe plays

over and over and over